When it comes to college housing, you are most likely going to be dealing with a roommate or two. Whether you are sharing your own room or sharing an apartment or house among several people, roommates are common for most college students. In the most ideal situation, you find the perfect roommate on the first try and can continue the same housing situation, or at least keep the same roommate(s) for the entirety of your college experience. However, this is hardly the case for many college students for a variety of reasons. There are early graduations, study abroad programs, and unfortunately, less amicable reasons like clashing personalities and roommate fights. Whatever the case is, starting the discussion to tell your roommate you no longer want to be roommates is usually never an easy one. 

Depending on how close you are with your roommate, there may be a fear of hurting your roommate’s feelings or just your own personal fears of confrontation. If you are not sure how to navigate the situation, keep reading for tips on how to break up with your roommate for housing next year. 

via Pexels

Give them time, and as much as possible 

If you are lucky, you will have plenty of time to give your roommate a heads up that you are no longer going to be living with them. However, that is not always the case. If your decision is more of a sudden one due to changing life circumstances or a roommate dispute, you may not have the opportunity to give your roommate plenty of time to find another roommate. 

Bottom line, you want to give your roommate the opportunity to figure out their roommate situation without leaving them scrambling at the last minute. If you have been actively looking for housing with other people and have not even told your roommate, you definitely should start the discussion with them. Treat them how you would want to be treated.

How would you feel if your roommate gave you less than a month’s notice that they have already found other housing with other roommates with no plans to take you along on their plan? Ideally, try to start the discussion as soon as you start to seriously consider not living with your roommate as possible. This way, you can avoid your roommate getting upset at the lack of heads up on the situation. 

Offer reasons behind your decision to part ways

When you start the discussion on your decision to part ways with your roommate, you are likely going to be questioned on your decision. Depending on your situation, the answer may be obvious to you and your roommate, such as one of you studying abroad and not needing housing for a semester or two, or that you have been clashing so you don’t really have a choice other than parting ways. 

The most common reasons roommates split up can be: 

• Conflicting schedules: Roommates that are on different schedules (academic, work, sleeping, etc.) can easily lead to clashes. 

• Different needs for the living situation: Roommates can have different expectations or needs for their living situation, such as the number of roommates, monthly rent, apartment location, and so on. 

• Personality differences and repetitive arguments: Not everyone is meant to live together, so it is perfectly reasonable to accept that you and your roommates aren’t getting along and it’s better for every party to not live together in the future. 

Prepare yourself for some emotions

As with any discussion surrounding housing and roommates, you may find yourself or your roommates getting a bit emotional over the issue at hand. If you are close with your roommate, your roommate could get upset that you no longer want to live with them, and may take it personally. While you want to comfort them as a friend, explain your reasoning and that your decision is something you have thought over carefully and is the best outcome you’ve come to. 

You can even take the extra step of helping them sort out their own options. Of course, you don’t have to find a roommate to replace you, but giving your roommate some support with a process they likely feel stressed about can help alleviate some of the hurt they may feel from your decision. 

If your roommate is getting angry or feeling wronged by your discussion, prepare to disengage from the discussion. Your roommate can’t hold you to being their roommate forever, regardless of how upset they are at the moment. Let them know that you understand they are upset with your decision but that you need to step away until you both can hold a comfortable conversation with no aggression. 

Confrontation is never easy, especially if it is with people you are sharing a living space with. With this information in mind, you can help yourself navigate your upcoming discussion with your roommate. Good luck!